Over the next few weeks the pastors at my church will be speaking on marriage. As a single person, I wondered how this would apply to me. For as long as I can remember I’ve longed to find that person I’d spend my life with, at the age of 34 I have yet to find that person. Rather than stew in my own self pity, I’m looking at this topic as an opportunity that will prepare me for marriage. I see a lot of couples at church, a part of my mind is envious them, but the following passage help me to understand that every relationship has its trials. The bible says this.
“But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”
1 Corinthians 7:28 NIV
Somehow this was comforting to know, even though I’m a single person. It somehow, took the pressure off of having a perfect relationship and having things all together. This passage was like having a heads up on what to expect. No relationship is perfect, we are human and flawed. It’s alright, with open hearts these trials can make us grow. I’ve seen relationships dissolve over silly and petty things that add up over time. I’ve also seen relationships dissolve that had serious issues that needed to be resolved.
After meditating on the topic, I think that maybe my singleness has been a blessing not a curse. God knew the kind of relationship that I wanted and maybe He’s been preparing me for this.
Someone that I know recently got engaged after only a month or two. That’s actually kind of scary. Infatuation is at work here, not love. Love happens over time. Love is trustworthy and patient. That person that gets you and has your back. Infatuation is temporary and hormonal. In the beginning it starts off strong as chemistry is discovered and attraction grows, better known as the honeymoon phase. Over time though it fades until you realize that the person you thought you loved isn’t the person standing in front of you. It’s at this point many relationships dissolve. You’re left broken hearted and scarred. Patience is the key to whether any relationship will last or not. For years, through many trials and errors. I learned what not to do, now I’m learning what to do in my relationships, be it family, friends or romantically.
As for the messages at church, I’m going to pay attention and learn. I want that solid marriage one day and I believe that it can. I’m holding out hope that it will happen, as long as God is at the center.
Rachel Bemis 